
Cool Cars
Porsche 911 2.7
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You wouldn't think a white
car with red or blue stripes could be cool, but this one is. This is the
real deal, what a 911 should be, from a time when 911s were dangerous
(making them cooler) this was the top dog a car for people who knew what
they were doing.
This car would be sub-zero but
unfortunately it appeared
in an Atomic Kitten video (some video exec must have known it was cool and
hoped some of its cool would rub off on Atomic Kitten, nice try), meaning
it has lost some of its cool, perhaps when Atomic Kitten have truly faded
into obscurity and the video has vanished from living memory it could just
regain its sub zero status. |
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Aston Martin DB9
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So good looking, so cool
and nearly always in silver or black, a sign of coolness. It's on shaky
ground though, Aston want to sell more cars making them more common so
loosing some of their mystic, so far its not a problem so long as Aston
can keep the footballers away.
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Aston Martin DB7
Vantage
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The best looking modern car
no doubt, saved Aston Martin (possibly the coolest car maker of all). The
coupe looks amazing, low slung and perfectly proportioned, the Volante
(convertible to the uninitiated) is equally good looking, and there aren't
many £100,000 cars you can drive with the top down without looking like a
berk. |
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Land Rover
Defender
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The original and best, you
don't see many of these blocking up the roads on the school run in the
mornings. What's more it can actually go off road, a rarity nowadays for offroaders. |
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Cadillac CTS-V
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The Americans are strange,
they can make some deeply, deeply uncool cars (See
Dodge Ram) and some highly
cool ones (See Ford GT) but they usually have one thing in common, they are
crap, or at best not as good as Euro and Japanese cars. The Cadillac fits
this bill perfectly, it's not a bad car, just not as good as say a BMW.
Just looking at it you know it's cool. |
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Ford GT
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Was going to be sub-zero,
then some old guy off Top Gear decided he wanted one, went down to
seriously uncool, now it's back up to cool again as he has got rid of it.
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Hartge H1 V8
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The one series, the latest
edition to BMW's ever expanding ugly family, it certainly has more than
its fair share of ugly genes. However this one is different those crazy
Germans at Hartge have decided that a four cylinder engine is not enough,
neither is one of BMW's famous straight six engines, only a V8 from the M5
will do, and they may as well tune it a bit to give it another 50bhp. This
is one crazy car, especially when you consider you can get a new M5 for
about 40 grand less, yes 40 grand less, but that's just not as cool as
buying one of these. |
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Mitsubishi VR4 (in
black)
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Most people don't know what
this car is when they see it (which is good). Basically its a bigger
version of the Mitsubishi EVO, using the same chassis and engine. What
makes it cool is that it has to be the most evil looking family car ever
made, and it's bloody quick. |
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Audi A4 Cabrio
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Sleek and handsome car from
Audi, just make sure you don't get the
diesel. |
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VW Beetle
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What are the
chances of a car being cool if it is commissioned by Adolf Hitler to be the people's car i.e.
solid, reliable, cheap (non of these make a car cool). The Beetle almost
disappeared after the factories were destroyed in the war, if it wasn't for
a group of British soldiers finding some of the cars in the
factory they had bombed, the most popular car in history would have just been an obscure
1940s Nazi mobile. Instead it has sold 21 million over the world and
becoming a cult icon, even spawning other cool cars such as the VW Camper.
Sadly went out of production in 2003 due to VW
insatiable thirst for
modern blandness.
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Fiat Punto
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The humble
Fiat Punto has suddenly gone all cool. From the front it looks like a
1960s Masarati or Ferrari rather than a dull family hatchback, and that
makes it cool.
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TVR (any model)
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Despite the
being called a Trevor (TreVoR) they are cool, no matter which of the
numerous different models, all of which confusingly cost about the same,
all sound the same, have the same engines and offer the exact same thing
as each other, they are cool, and probably always will be.
Far more individuality and fun than any Japanese or German car
(unless its a Wiesmann) could hope for.
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MG SV-R
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Hmm MG Rover
has gone down the pan, outdated family cars not selling enough, what should we do?...... I know we should hand-build an
ultra-expensive low volume sports car for a handful barmy people. Brilliant thinking Mr
Towers and co, but a super car!
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Saab 9-3
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Blah blah,
Aerocraft technology, blah blah blah, aerodynamics, blah blah we make
fighter planes too blah blah, rhubarb rhubarb. Forget the nonsense Saab
tells you, they make buses too but they often forget to mention that in
their adverts. However Saabs are cool, no they aren't as good as Audis or
Mercs but they are so much cooler, even if they do look a bit odd.
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Caterham 7
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The Caterhams are cars that
have one single purpose, and that is for the driver to
have a much fun possible They are probably
the most impractable uncomfortable cars around, which
makes them cool, you will never get a poser buying one of these.
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Murcialago is named after a
really hard bull that kicked some matador's ass in 1879 also means bat in
Spanish (I think), which might have something to do with the fact that two little
air intake things pop up to
help with cooling, making it look like a bat, genius. And it has scissor
doors, and it's really quick and hopelessly
impractical, V cool.
Oh, yes and
Batman drives one. |
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Renault Clio
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The
Renault Clio has always been a cool car, good looking, good handling,
fantastic hot hatches (Williams and 182etc).
There is a new one out now though remains to be seen whether it can still be
cool. The new truly awful advert, comparing France to Britain is doing a
great job of loosing the car's cool. |
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Morgan
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If you
yourself are uncool, you probably think that following fads and new fashions
will make you cool, sorry it won't, being a sheep isn't cool.
This is why
the Morgan is so cool, it follows no stupid fads, it doesn't have any driver
electronics, no stupid folding metal roof and certainly nowhere to plug your
bloody iPod. |
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Citroen C3
Pluriel
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The kind
of car you could imagine turning up to the beach with your mates for a spot
of sun, sea and surfing, only there is nowhere to
put your surfboard, and you would get stuck in the sand. |
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Fiat 500
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The Italians could probably
rob the Bank of England with a few of these. |
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