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Porsche 911 2.7

 

Porsche 911 2.7 You wouldn't think a white car with red or blue stripes could be cool, but this one is. This is the real deal, what a 911 should be, from a time when 911s were dangerous (making them cooler) this was the top dog a car for people who knew what they were doing.

This car would be sub-zero but unfortunately it appeared in an Atomic Kitten video (some video exec must have known it was cool and hoped some of its cool would rub off on Atomic Kitten, nice try), meaning it has lost some of its cool, perhaps when Atomic Kitten have truly faded into obscurity and the video has vanished from living memory it could just regain its sub zero status.

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Aston Martin DB9

 

So good looking, so cool and nearly always in silver or black, a sign of coolness. It's on shaky ground though, Aston want to sell more cars making them more common so loosing some of their mystic, so far its not a problem so long as Aston can keep the footballers away.

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Aston Martin DB7 Vantage

 

The best looking modern car no doubt, saved Aston Martin (possibly the coolest car maker of all). The coupe looks amazing, low slung and perfectly proportioned, the Volante (convertible to the uninitiated) is equally good looking, and there aren't many £100,000 cars you can drive with the top down without looking like a berk.

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Land Rover Defender

 

The original and best, you don't see many of these blocking up the roads on the school run in the mornings. What's more it can actually go off road, a rarity nowadays for offroaders.

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Cadillac CTS-V

 

The Americans are strange, they can make some deeply, deeply uncool cars (See Dodge Ram) and some highly cool ones (See Ford GT) but they usually have one thing in common, they are crap, or at best not as good as Euro and Japanese cars. The Cadillac fits this bill perfectly, it's not a bad car, just not as good as say a BMW. Just looking at it you know it's cool.


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Ford GT

 

Was going to be sub-zero, then some old guy off Top Gear decided he wanted one, went down to seriously uncool, now it's back up to cool again as he has got rid of it.

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Hartge H1 V8

 

The one series, the latest edition to BMW's ever expanding ugly family, it certainly has more than its fair share of ugly genes. However this one is different those crazy Germans at Hartge have decided that a four cylinder engine is not enough, neither is one of BMW's famous straight six engines, only a V8 from the M5 will do, and they may as well tune it a bit to give it another 50bhp. This is one crazy car, especially when you consider you can get a new M5 for about 40 grand less, yes 40 grand less, but that's just not as cool as buying one of these.


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Mitsubishi VR4 (in black)

 

Most people don't know what this car is when they see it (which is good). Basically its a bigger version of the Mitsubishi EVO, using the same chassis and engine. What makes it cool is that it has to be the most evil looking family car ever made, and it's bloody quick.

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Audi A4 Cabrio

 

Sleek and handsome car from Audi, just make sure you don't get the diesel.

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VW Beetle

What are the chances of a car being cool if it is commissioned by Adolf Hitler to be the people's car i.e. solid, reliable, cheap (non of these make a car cool). The Beetle almost disappeared after the factories were destroyed in the war, if it wasn't for a group of British soldiers finding some of the cars in the factory they had bombed, the most popular car in history would have just been an obscure 1940s Nazi mobile. Instead it has sold 21 million over the world and becoming a cult icon, even spawning other cool cars such as the VW Camper.

Sadly went out of production in 2003 due to VW insatiable thirst for modern blandness.

 

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Fiat Punto

The humble Fiat Punto has suddenly gone all cool. From the front it looks like a 1960s Masarati or Ferrari rather than a dull family hatchback, and that makes it cool.

 

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TVR (any model)

Despite the being called a Trevor (TreVoR) they are cool, no matter which of the numerous different models, all of which confusingly cost about the same, all sound the same, have the same engines and offer the exact same thing as each other, they are cool, and probably always will be.

Far more individuality and fun than any Japanese or German car (unless its a Wiesmann) could hope for.

 

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MG SV-R

Hmm MG Rover has gone down the pan, outdated family cars not selling enough, what should we do?...... I know we should hand-build an ultra-expensive low volume sports car for a handful barmy people. Brilliant thinking Mr Towers and co, but a super car!

 

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Saab 9-3

Blah blah, Aerocraft technology, blah blah blah, aerodynamics, blah blah we make fighter planes too blah blah, rhubarb rhubarb. Forget the nonsense Saab tells you, they make buses too but they often forget to mention that in their adverts. However Saabs are cool, no they aren't as good as Audis or Mercs but they are so much cooler, even if they do look a bit odd.

 

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Caterham 7

The Caterhams are cars that have one single purpose, and that is for the driver to have a much fun possible They are probably the most impractable uncomfortable cars around, which makes them cool, you will never get a poser buying one of these.

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Lamborghini Murcielago

Murcialago is named after a really hard bull that kicked some matador's ass in 1879 also means bat in Spanish (I think), which might have something to do with the fact that two little air intake things pop up to help with cooling, making it look like a bat, genius. And it has scissor doors, and it's really quick and hopelessly impractical, V cool.

Oh, yes and Batman drives one.

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Renault Clio

The Renault Clio has always been a cool car, good looking, good handling, fantastic hot hatches (Williams and 182etc).

There is a new one out now though remains to be seen whether it can still be cool. The new truly awful advert, comparing France to Britain is doing a great job of loosing the car's cool.   

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Morgan

If you yourself are uncool, you probably think that following fads and new fashions will make you cool, sorry it won't, being a sheep isn't cool.

This is why the Morgan is so cool, it follows no stupid fads, it doesn't have any driver electronics, no stupid folding metal roof and certainly nowhere to plug your bloody iPod.

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Citroen C3 Pluriel

The kind of car you could imagine turning up to the beach with your mates for a spot of sun, sea and surfing, only there is nowhere to put your surfboard, and you would get stuck in the sand.

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Fiat 500

The Italians could probably rob the Bank of England with a few of these.

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